


TMA GC hell

by HemoOryctolagus (oz_the_animatronic_rabbit)



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast), The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: And violence, Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist is a Mechanism, Rated T for language, The Mechs, and i dont blame them, as u can p tell from chapter 1, ashes is not basira, ashes likes to make basiras life harder, bc - Freeform, but now im having, i think its funny, its jonny, jon is jonny, nikki is ts, so so much fun, they do meet tho, this makes jonny's life harder, this wasnt supposed to be a mechs fic as well, tim & tim meet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-03
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-02-22 23:57:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23002462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oz_the_animatronic_rabbit/pseuds/HemoOryctolagus
Summary: what it says on the tin<3edit: i lied. its. so chaotic. the mechs are here now. brainrot ig.
Comments: 14
Kudos: 133





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Nicknames
> 
> Anna: muffet  
> Jude: Fire Lesbian jr.  
> Anges: Fire Lesbian  
> Jane: worm mom  
> Nikola: Pt Barnum/ Toy Soldier  
> Oliver: sleepcauseI’mdead  
> \-----------------------------------  
> Jon: mr archive man/ first mate  
> Martin: Lonely Gay  
> Tim s: BisexuHell  
> Melanie: angry lesbian  
> Baira: Tired/ ashes imposter  
> Daisy: NotAFurry  
> Georgie: Fearless Lesbian  
> Gerry: Tired Emo  
> Micheal/Hellen :Not an It  
> \---------------------------------  
> gp tim: Blew Up The Moon  
> ashes: Ashes (so orginal ik/j)  
> nastya: ship fucker (heehee)

** _Avatars of Fun :)_ **

Muffet: guys

Muffet: guys you know who we should add?

SleepCauseImDead: who anna?

Muffet: Olli I could feel you sigh from here

Muffet: and to answer your question

Muffet: the archivist!

Fire Lesbian Jr: no.

Pt Barnum: Oh Anna! Thats A Great Idea!

Fire Lesbian: I second the no.

Fire Lesbian Jr: <3

Fire Lesbian: <3

Muffet: im adding the archivist

_ Muffet _ added _ Mr Archive Man _ to _ Avatars of Fun :) _

Mr. Archive Man: No.

Mr Archive Man: why can’t I leave

Muffet: (: (spider web emoji) 

Pt Barnum: Oh! Hello Archivist! Its Me! Nikola!

Mr Archive Man:.... Hello…

Fire Lesbian Jr: hello archivist. 

Fire Lesbian Jr: Hows your hand

Mr Archive Man: right, goodbye

_ Mr Archive Man _ has gone offline

**_Hells Archive_ **

  
  


Mr Archive Man: I despise this job

Bisexuhell: Rt

Angry Lesbian: rt

NotAFurry:rt

Tired: rt

Lonely Gay:....

Lonely Gay: rt

Lonely gay: who wants tea while im in the kitchen

Tired: get jon tea before he has a chance to microwave it

Lonely Gay: of course im gonna get jon tea

Mr. Archive Man: I’m right here.

Bisexuhell: we know

** _Touch of Fear_ **

Tired Emo: Martin are we still going to the movies tonight?

Lonely Gay: yeah, my mom refused my visits again so im (:

Tired Emo: Ill Eat her

NotAFurry: not if i stab her first

Lonely Gay: id really appreciate it if you guys just

Lonely Gay: didnt hurt my mom

Lonely Gay: maybe?

Mr Archive Man: Martin

Mr Archive Man: Martin come get the spider

Lonely Gay: Sigh

Lonely Gay: tell annabelle I said hello

Mr Archive Man: I’m pretty sure she already knows.

Fearless Lesbian: Okay this is all great but im trying to record and 90% of you are at work

Fearless Lesbian: so  _ do your work. _


	2. Jon voice: i hate this *fucking planet*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so i lied when i said it was what it says on the tkm

Chpter 2

Avatars of fun :)

Mr Archive Man: I forgot to ask.

Mr Archive man: why? Exactly am I here

Fire Lesbian Jr: annabelle

Fire Lesbian: Annabelle

SleepCauseImDead: Anna

Pt Barnum: Anna!

Worm Mom: Annabelle

Muffet: because of me of course! 

Muffet: seeing as you  _ are _ technically the strongrest being under the watcher\

Muffet: that would make you its avatar

Mr Archive Man: would that not make Martin and Daisy avatars as well?

**_Several people are typing_ **

Mr Archive Man: I have made a mistake 

SleepCauseImDead: Anna no

Fire Lesbian Jr: NO.

Fire Lesbian: No.

Worm Mom: Annabelle no.

Pt Barnum: The Archivist Has A Point!

Muffet: * :) *

  
  


_ Muffet _ has added  _ NotAFurry _ and  _ Lonely Gay _ to  _ Avatars of Fun :) _

Lonely Gay: oh i already hate it here

NotAFurry: Jon what did you do

Pt Barnum: Jonny Had A Wonderful Point!

Pt Barnum: And Then Annabelle Acted On It!

Mr Archive Man: We have already discussed the fact that I should not be allowed to speak.

Lonely Gay: jon. Jon

Lonely Gay: daisy is coming towards ur office

Mr Archive Man: I know

Hells Archive

Lonely Gay: hey jon

Mr Archive Man: Yes, Martin?

Lonely Gay: why did Nikola call you Jonny?

Mr Archive Man: i-

Mr Archive Man: I dont know

Tired: ahfdkajl

Tired: thats bullshit 

Mr Archive Man: Basira….

Lonely Gay: what?

_ Tired _ has changed their name to  _ Ashes Imposter _

Ashes Imposter: What’re u gonna do abt it.

Ashes Imposter: Jonny

Mr Archive Man: I hate you

Ashes Imposter: I know <3

Lonely Gay: what the fuck is happening 

Bisexuhell: are you telling me

Bisexuhell: That our boss

Bisexuhell: Jonathan “stick up his ass” Sims

Bisexuhell: Is Jonny D’ville?

Ashes Imposter: yep!

Mr Archive Man: I hate this  _ fucking planet _

  
  


The Crew and Aurora

First Mate: I want to leave the planet

Toy Soldier: But Jonny! 

Toy Soldier: We’re Having So! Much! Fun!

First Mate: well not all of us joined  _ circus cults _ ts

Ashes: i was gonna blow something up today if you wanted to come?

First Mate: ……. Tempting

Blew up the moon: Jonny get off your phone im coming to your weird ass job.

First Mate: you’re gonna freak out my coworkers arent you?

Blew up the moon: no i want to make fun of you.

First Mate: once again, I hate this  _ fucking  _ planet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank u people in the discord. They know which one<3


	3. heehee hoohoo. more mechs time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> my longest chapter so far, featuring: ts& gp tim at the institute. and soft jonny & aurora friendship. because theyre friends. and they deserve to be soft

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter warnings: mechs typical violence mentions, use of it/its pronouns for ts. discussion of canonical character death

**_ The Crew and Aurora _ **

First Mate: Tim. is talking to my assistants. 

First mate: Im gonna kill him

First mate:I hope Martin doesnt hate me for getting blood on his clothes

First mate: mortal tim might be having a stroke. I think they were starting to flirt when I shot bastard tim

Toy Soldier: What The Fuck! Is Happening In The Archives!?

First Mate: i shot tim

Toy Soldier: What The Fuck! Jonny!

First Mate: he was talking to my favorite mortal.

First Mate: also i didnt even kill him hes just being dramatic

  
  


_ **Hells Arhive** _

Lonely Gay: jon what the  _ fuck _

Bisexuhell: was that….did you just 

Mr Archive Man: i dont wanna talk about it

Bisexuhell: you 1000% just shot gp tim

Bisexuhell: he wasnt even doing anything just talking

Mr Archive Man: he was being a bastard.

Bisexuhell:....im gonna talk to him.

Mr Archive Man: no. no absolutely not.

  
  


**_ Pm: Nikola Orsinov-Martin Blackwood _ **

N.O.: Martin! Please Inform Jonny That Per The Auroras Request I Am Coming To Collect GunPoweder Tim!

M.B.:....okay?

M.B: why didn’t you just...message him yourself?

N.O.: First Mate D’ville Has Orderd Me Not To Privately Message Him While On Planet Unless It Was Absolutely Necessary!

M.B.: ….okay then.

**_PM: Tim Stoker- Jonathan Sims_ **

TS: jon.

TS: Jon what the  _ fuck _ was that

JS: that...that was The Toy Soldier

TS: WHAT THE FUCK

JS: the crew and the aurora had it come get the other tim

TS: thats the thing that killed my brother. Jon.

JS: well fuck.

JS: ill tell the crew. You probably wont see it again

JS: im sorry tim

TS: its still so weird to think that you’re jonny d’ville

JS: what can i say :) im an  _ amazing _ actor

  
  


_** The Crew and The Aurora ** _

First Mate: alright

First Mate: which one of you fuckers sent ts to the institute

Ship Fucker: it was aurora

First Mate: FUCK

_** Pm: Jonny D’ville- The Aurora🚀 ** _

JD: hey aurora

JD: in the future please refrain from sending ts to the institute

JD: it killed mortal tims brother

JD: and i can respect his anger at seeing someone that hurt his family.

TA: of course

TA: I apologize if I caused excess stress on your or his behalf

JD: your fine aurora. It was an accident.  I love you

TA: I love you too

TA:...

TA: Captain D’ville

  
  


_** Assistant Time ** _

Bisexuhell: someone please tell me why Jon just started crying

Tired: depends on whats going on.

Tired: BC i know ashes blew something up yesterday so if he helped them he  _ should _ be good

Bisexuhell: no he looks this weird mix of like

Bisexuhell: Feral? And Soft?

Tired: oh. I dont know. 

Tired: probably had something to do with nastya or aurora though.

Tired: hes like siblings with those two

Lonely Gay: are we ignoring the fact that Jon shot a guy?

Tired: ….

Tired: was it one of the others?

Bisexuhell: gp tim

Tired: then yes.

Lonely Gay:  _ what _ ?

Tired: he’ll be fine

Lonely Gay: im pretty sure he died. Basira

Tired: he’ll get better dont worry.

Lonely Gay: you know? That doesnt actually make me feel better.

  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Groupchat list:
> 
> Avatars of fun:  
> Jane  
> Jude & agnes  
> Oliver  
> Nikola  
> Annabelle  
> \------------  
> Jon(later)  
> Martin (later)  
> Daisy (later)
> 
> Touch of Fear  
> Georgie  
> Gerry  
> (all archive staff minus J*nah)  
> Micheal/Hellen
> 
> Hells archive
> 
> The archivist & his assistants


End file.
